So Long Samsara

The Buddhists use the term Samsara to refer to the world of illusion. I usually experience illusion as my mind, or my ego trying to run a racket on my soul and/or body.

For some unknown reason, I have always wanted to participate in a Native American Sweat Lodge. For some reason, it has taken years to actually happen. I was surprised that I wanted to do it because it combined several of my insecurities in one. Dark, Hot, Small spaces. When I was invited to one on November 29th, it worked out. I didn't like the idea that it wasn't to start until after dark, but I figured I'd go for it anyway. I had to go by myself and the location was pretty remote. I mapquested the address, but as sometimes happens, it lead me to a dead end. At this point, I began to question if it was meant to be. It would have been easy to just turn and head for home, but before doing so, I said a silent prayer and asked that if it was important that I be there, that I be lead to the property. Strangely enough, I just followed my 'instinct' and within 15 minutes I was lead straight to the property. I took it as a sign that there was something there for me to experience.

I was familiar with Prayer Ties from my Vision Quest Experience, but they were made for me. This night I was given instruction in making my own, which was fun. It is typical to enter the Sweat with a prayer or intention.

I asked for the purification of my heart around the masculine. I was in the early stages of exploring a couple of relationship options, and could feel my ego fighting hard to prevent me from experiencing these possibilities with an open heart and pure intentions. One of my ties was for my friend Jade. Things with Jade were actually perfect at the time, but I wanted them to stay that way, with neither of us striving for something more, or pulling away in fear...just as we were about to enter the lodge (you crawl in through a low door on your hands and knees) his prayer tie fell and I could not find it in the dark. For a second, I looked, even experiencing a moment of apprehension around it's loss. Just before I was about to search in earnest I heard the words, "This love has already been through the fire. It exists currently in it's purest state". I had to admit it was true and I entered in peace.

Stones are used to heat the small space. They are carefully chosen, and are asked if they want to participate. They are lovingly referred to as "Stone Poeople" or "The Grandfathers" because of their age, and it is believed that they have witnessed much and that they hold the stories of the earth and the people. I have had great experiences working with stones.

The stones are brought in one at a time to the lodge on a pitchfork and greeted with with the NA words meaning, "All my relations".

After the stones are all in (quite a process) the door is closed (it's more like a blanket that covers the door), water is poured over the stones and it gets very hot very fast.

The ceremony is done in 'rounds', with each being dedicated to either singing or prayer. Between rounds, the door is lifted and water passed. After the first round, I wasn't sure I would make it through, but by the end, I felt actually amazing. I only survived though by laying down on my back and burrowing as much of my skin into the wet, cold dirt as possible. But in that position I could sweat and not really suffer. It was as if I could feel the changes happening in my spirit, the purification happening.


I got quite sick a few hours after the ceremony. Probably a combination of detox and dehydration.....but it was worth it. I have been able to see the truth in all situations and act from a place of truth and purity in my best interest without conflict between my heart and mind.

No more illusion..........