How ironic it is, that just as the Equinox is upon us, a recognition of the balance of light and dark and moving toward an increase in darkness, a time to let go of that which no longer serves us, that life is FORCING ME, kicking and screaming inside, to deal with any and all of my external unfinished business, and in the process it's bringing up internal unfinished business. I'm being forced to look at things that I haven't wanted to look at (in an effort to avoid discomfort), but I know that the TRUTH is that these things are weighing me down and that in stepping into the darkness of them with eyes wide open, ready to do whatever is necessary to wrap them up, I will feel lighter and free.
The foreclosure should be resolved, one way or another by the end of this month, and now I have been told by the HOA that I need to get everything out of the lower level of my Townhome by the end of the month so they can start working on the foundation.
When we were told we had to evacuate almost 3 years ago, they literally gave us about 18 hours notice that the utilities were to be turned off and then we only had a few days to find other living arrangements, so sorting and cleaning up during and after the process was not possible...no water.. no vacuum, no time. I was moving into a very tiny place, so I didn't have room for anything but daily essentials, and didn't have the money to pay for or the energy left to deal with 'that other stuff', so I left it....to deal with later. Well...later has come. I left my garage almost completely intact. You know how that garage stuff is....you hardly ever need it. Well, it's been almost 3 years, and I have grabbed my Christmas decorations and a couple of other things over the years. I know all my camping equipment is still there. I haven't been camping in literally years, but I want to go again someday, so I am hesitant to let it go, but my gut is telling me to be brutal with it....just call 1-800-got-junk and let them have it all and be done. No sorting and loading and trips to the dump and goodwill and filling up the garage at my current home with more clutter. I estimate that the sorting and loading and renting of trucks and paying dumping fees would easily take 3 days and hundreds of dollars, not to mention the cost of my time and the wear & tear on still recovering knees....so the got junk man is looking like how I'll go.
I'm experiencing a strange, new phenomenon and awareness around it all. I realize how much unadulterated, absolute shame it is bringing up that I didn't even know existed that I feel about the mess that exists over there. I can hardly bear the thought of not only looking at and through the stuff myself, let alone letting anyone else see the mess I left. It's profound, it's deep, overwhelming and incapacitating and yet, it is giving me a vital teaching; showing me in stark, physical, ordinary reality, how self-conscious I am about letting anyone see the messy parts deep inside me or seeing me being emotionally messy, and the coping mechanism of not wanting to look directly at what I have yet left undone, lurking, unfinished, cramping up and weighing down my psyche and my soul in the dark, forgotten corners.
The clean out needs to be done by the end of the month so they can have access to our foundations and start the repair process. As I celebrated the arrival of Equinox yesterday, I realized that in being forced by external forces to clean up my unfinished physical mess, so that I may get a new foundation on my home, that this season will also be a time for me to clean out my own internal basement/bottom floor so that I can make way to receive a brand new, fully repaired internal foundation.
Jung compares the basement of a home/our homes, to the subconscious mind; the things we have no every day awareness of......it's incredible when I consider the timing of it all, and that what is being asked of me outside is what is left to deal with inside.
The myth and lore around the Equinox, the return of the dark, surrounds the story of Persephone, the beloved daughter of Zeus and Demeter. Autumn is the time that, as parents, they must let their daughter leave them and take her yearly descent down, into the darkness of the underworld for the next 6 months, off on her own, but knowing she will return in the Spring. The story goes that her descent brings the Winter and the return of the darkness. And in my own life, I am being asked to let go of one of my sweet daughters as I dropped her off at college today, but also knowing she will return, coincidentally about the time of the Spring Equinox.
She will do well, this I know. Although it is a sort of underworld, in terms of her first time living on her own, making all her own daily choices. She has always followed a path of her own choosing and has not been easily influenced by others, parents included, as far as her desires and opinions. She knows what she likes and believes and that is how it is for her. I say to her, "Blessed Be, my child. And so it is...Aho!
I got the eye roll this morning as I placed in her hands some tokens from home...from her Mom, the Shaman. A small piece of Bear Skin, for protection. I quartz heart-shaped stone filled with my love, and an Asian Coin, for luck and prosperity. I told her she could place them completely hidden if she wanted, but they were what I wanted with her from here, this home she goes forth from, and from the heart and womb of the woman who carried and birthed her.
In her honor, I share a piece from one of my favorite artists and writers.
My Hands
"May I tell you the intensity, the excruciating joy, of participating in your life and watching you grow?
You are my favorite song
On life's list of accomplishments...you are my finest.
Accompanying you to this place has been my sweetest journey
You have been the vast question for which all my endevours have been the answer
As you travel to this place which shall be your home
My hands meet in applause
And clasp in prayer
My hands wave you on, and remain open-
An invitation to return freely to this place
Where you learned to fly."
Mary Ann Radmacher
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Note to Self.........at 1:30am
coffee ice cream must have caffeine? Naive Mormon Girl Self Questions...But in the future...Don't sit down and eat a bowl of coffee ice cream at 9pm and expect to fall asleep in a timely fashion!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Messenger
My work is loving the world.
Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird-
equal seekers of sweetness
Here the quickening yeast, there the blue plums.
Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.
Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?
Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect?
Let me keep my mind on what matters;
this is my walk.
Which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished.
The phoebe, the delphinium.
The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.
Which is mostly rejoicing, since all the ingredients are here,
Which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart
and these body-clothes,
a mouth, with which to give shouts of joy
to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy, dug up clam,
telling them all, over and over, how it is that we live forever.
Mary Oliver
Commentary/Question:
Here is the question running through my mind, begging my contemplative answer; which at this point, I don't have one worth writing down:
What is the difference between a comfort zone, a rut, a pit and truly home? Cause I'm in one of them, and I'm wondering if there is a finer line that I realized between them.
I've always been such a doer, so this year has been a new experience for me to learn to slow down. I find myself 12 months later so happily, peacefully quiet and calm; contented with my own company.
This last weekend was probably one of the quietest I've had in years. I witnessed in curiousity how every plan I had made for Saturday melted away on it's own due to other people's change of plans. I just let it happen and didn't try to fill the time with anything or anyone else. So I read and napped and cleaned and cooked and did Yoga and enjoyed the dogs. And out of the stillness came the question, (Fascinating in that tonight is a full moon; a time of new beginnings), "What do I REALLY want?"
All I know at this point is that dispite the looming foreclosure, my life feels really nice. For the first time in years there is no internal (or external) list of things I want to accomplish or places I need to go. I have no grand wish list for changes. There is no illusion anymore around life. I have learned to be content and trust. Yet I also sense that there are some circumstances that are asking for my opinion (speaking metaphorically), before they take a direction of their own. And not choosing is also a choice. As I've contemplated my life I have realized that truly I have two distinct voices asking to be heard, and they are pretty much in opposition to each other. Can't have both, I realize.
What I REALLY want, is not a thing or a place or a person, but an experience. It is the universal answer to the question "What do women really want?" And the cool thing is that right now, I already have it, for the first time in my life, it seems to have taken up permanent residence. However, when I examine what it does for me, I realize how I have walled off some possibilities because I have never experienced being able to have this, and a relationship with a man at the same time. It has been an either/or proposition, and now I wonder if it is possible to find a partner who is capable of allowing my to have it, and still feel secure and loved, and I know that in understanding it's value to me, I am willing to offer the same to a partner.
Hint (on what I really want): Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnell
Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird-
equal seekers of sweetness
Here the quickening yeast, there the blue plums.
Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.
Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?
Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect?
Let me keep my mind on what matters;
this is my walk.
Which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished.
The phoebe, the delphinium.
The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.
Which is mostly rejoicing, since all the ingredients are here,
Which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart
and these body-clothes,
a mouth, with which to give shouts of joy
to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy, dug up clam,
telling them all, over and over, how it is that we live forever.
Mary Oliver
Commentary/Question:
Here is the question running through my mind, begging my contemplative answer; which at this point, I don't have one worth writing down:
What is the difference between a comfort zone, a rut, a pit and truly home? Cause I'm in one of them, and I'm wondering if there is a finer line that I realized between them.
I've always been such a doer, so this year has been a new experience for me to learn to slow down. I find myself 12 months later so happily, peacefully quiet and calm; contented with my own company.
This last weekend was probably one of the quietest I've had in years. I witnessed in curiousity how every plan I had made for Saturday melted away on it's own due to other people's change of plans. I just let it happen and didn't try to fill the time with anything or anyone else. So I read and napped and cleaned and cooked and did Yoga and enjoyed the dogs. And out of the stillness came the question, (Fascinating in that tonight is a full moon; a time of new beginnings), "What do I REALLY want?"
All I know at this point is that dispite the looming foreclosure, my life feels really nice. For the first time in years there is no internal (or external) list of things I want to accomplish or places I need to go. I have no grand wish list for changes. There is no illusion anymore around life. I have learned to be content and trust. Yet I also sense that there are some circumstances that are asking for my opinion (speaking metaphorically), before they take a direction of their own. And not choosing is also a choice. As I've contemplated my life I have realized that truly I have two distinct voices asking to be heard, and they are pretty much in opposition to each other. Can't have both, I realize.
What I REALLY want, is not a thing or a place or a person, but an experience. It is the universal answer to the question "What do women really want?" And the cool thing is that right now, I already have it, for the first time in my life, it seems to have taken up permanent residence. However, when I examine what it does for me, I realize how I have walled off some possibilities because I have never experienced being able to have this, and a relationship with a man at the same time. It has been an either/or proposition, and now I wonder if it is possible to find a partner who is capable of allowing my to have it, and still feel secure and loved, and I know that in understanding it's value to me, I am willing to offer the same to a partner.
Hint (on what I really want): Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnell
Friday, September 12, 2008
I cried.....tears of joy
I got the clearance from my PT last Friday to return to Yoga. Laura and I attended a class at LA Fitness last Sunday, which was very physical, with an Ashtanga and Vinyasa flair. I loved it...Laura was bored half way through so I let her leave to explore on her own.
As I was resting in Shavasana at the end of class with a completely empty mind, I found out of nowhere (or should I say 'now-here') that my body was releasing tears of joy. I could have easily (if I was not the new student in class) curled up in a ball on the floor and let them flow...wish I could have. The tears did not arise out of a thought or even an emotion....just a release of joy from my heart, bringing tears.
I have always loved Yoga, but what I learned this morning, is that my soul loves this practice and was so grateful I had returned to the mat. I have always heard and accepted there was a spiritual aspect to the poses, but never experienced it so profoundly, personally before that morning.
Seane Corn, featured in this clip, was one of my first experiences of Vinyasa (flow) practice; my favorite type. This morning I attended another class at LAF, with a different instructor, who I LOVED! Through her practice I was able to feel and understand precisely what has lead to these knee problems; where I am too tight and where I am too loose...
She shared that she had a difficult childhood and suffered from OCD and chronic depression for years, and it was not until beginning Yoga that things began to shift. She tells of leaving class one day early in her practice when she realized something was happening in her body as she walked home, in exploring it further, what she realized, was she was feeling HAPPINESS...for the first time in years. She had forgotten what it felt like to feel happy and yoga reconnected her with that inside herself. So began her journey.
Hope you enjoy Seane's message as much as I do! Namaste
As I was resting in Shavasana at the end of class with a completely empty mind, I found out of nowhere (or should I say 'now-here') that my body was releasing tears of joy. I could have easily (if I was not the new student in class) curled up in a ball on the floor and let them flow...wish I could have. The tears did not arise out of a thought or even an emotion....just a release of joy from my heart, bringing tears.
I have always loved Yoga, but what I learned this morning, is that my soul loves this practice and was so grateful I had returned to the mat. I have always heard and accepted there was a spiritual aspect to the poses, but never experienced it so profoundly, personally before that morning.
Seane Corn, featured in this clip, was one of my first experiences of Vinyasa (flow) practice; my favorite type. This morning I attended another class at LAF, with a different instructor, who I LOVED! Through her practice I was able to feel and understand precisely what has lead to these knee problems; where I am too tight and where I am too loose...
She shared that she had a difficult childhood and suffered from OCD and chronic depression for years, and it was not until beginning Yoga that things began to shift. She tells of leaving class one day early in her practice when she realized something was happening in her body as she walked home, in exploring it further, what she realized, was she was feeling HAPPINESS...for the first time in years. She had forgotten what it felt like to feel happy and yoga reconnected her with that inside herself. So began her journey.
Hope you enjoy Seane's message as much as I do! Namaste
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Mary Oliver "When I Am Among the Trees"
When I am among the trees,
especially the willows, and the honey locust
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I ahave goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often
Around me the trees stir their leaves
and call out, "stay awhile"
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, "It's simple", they say
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, and go easy, to be filled
with the light; and to shine."
especially the willows, and the honey locust
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I ahave goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often
Around me the trees stir their leaves
and call out, "stay awhile"
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, "It's simple", they say
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, and go easy, to be filled
with the light; and to shine."
Monday, September 8, 2008
More Mary Oliver
"The Journey"
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
through their melancholy
was terrible
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Commentary:
It is always a comfort to read or hear another's personal tale that mirrors my own internal experience; makes me a little less sure I am insane :).
I was thinking the other day, after reading about Buddhism being nontheistic, and mentally recounting the evolution of my own beliefs. Although ultimately I have realized that I cannot really say what I believe to be 'true', as life continues to show me new and bigger ways of seeing things. What is true to one is hidden from others, what is true for some, is false for others...that is an entirely different subject. To me, truth is subjective, just like beauty..in the eyes and senses of the beholder.
I have unintentionally hurt, confused and frightened others when I took on my journey. But, what I can say for sure, is that one of the biggest differences between 'then' and 'now' is my experience of "God". God use to be an external being in a far away place who I hoped to please by being a good person, and thereby earning His blessings and rewards and feel His presence and comfort in my life when needed. I went to church and partook of fellowship and increased my knowledge and participated in ordinances to remind and solidify that relationship in myself. That time too was part of this journey. It was the beginning and middle and this journey is just a continuation of that one.
Then...I got quiet and and still and in the quiet and stillness I found, instead of a God out there, an everpresent God inside, the constant companionship of peace and well-being and joy. And with this presence inside, I find that ultimately there is no where to go, nothing to do to enrich my relationship with God except honor the truth that I am lead to live one day at a time. As hard as that is for some to understand, I am home.....I am at peace. I am in love and wish to express that joy and love in all my relations. It is now easier for me to hear and feel the presence of this Higher Self when I am in Nature, as the sounds, smells and sights slow me down and soothe my mind. Does that mean I no longer believe in God? Well, I suppose it depends on a person's individual definition. This I know; I am loved and lovable and loving and watched over and protected and blessed and abide in and with and around something larger than this local "Me". I believe there is ultimately no duality....or that in the duality there is perfect balance.
We use to walk in the Redwoods when I was a little girl. I loved it on a level I didn't even understand at the time, and had long forgotten until a couple of years ago as I began to study the relationship the Shaman and the Native Americans had with Nature....then I remembered how I felt as a child when I was outside.
Something as simple as taking the time to look up at and appreciate the beauty of the moon in the sky tonight is my prayer and my offering...and to be of service to those who come into my life in a loving way is my mission.
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
through their melancholy
was terrible
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Commentary:
It is always a comfort to read or hear another's personal tale that mirrors my own internal experience; makes me a little less sure I am insane :).
I was thinking the other day, after reading about Buddhism being nontheistic, and mentally recounting the evolution of my own beliefs. Although ultimately I have realized that I cannot really say what I believe to be 'true', as life continues to show me new and bigger ways of seeing things. What is true to one is hidden from others, what is true for some, is false for others...that is an entirely different subject. To me, truth is subjective, just like beauty..in the eyes and senses of the beholder.
I have unintentionally hurt, confused and frightened others when I took on my journey. But, what I can say for sure, is that one of the biggest differences between 'then' and 'now' is my experience of "God". God use to be an external being in a far away place who I hoped to please by being a good person, and thereby earning His blessings and rewards and feel His presence and comfort in my life when needed. I went to church and partook of fellowship and increased my knowledge and participated in ordinances to remind and solidify that relationship in myself. That time too was part of this journey. It was the beginning and middle and this journey is just a continuation of that one.
Then...I got quiet and and still and in the quiet and stillness I found, instead of a God out there, an everpresent God inside, the constant companionship of peace and well-being and joy. And with this presence inside, I find that ultimately there is no where to go, nothing to do to enrich my relationship with God except honor the truth that I am lead to live one day at a time. As hard as that is for some to understand, I am home.....I am at peace. I am in love and wish to express that joy and love in all my relations. It is now easier for me to hear and feel the presence of this Higher Self when I am in Nature, as the sounds, smells and sights slow me down and soothe my mind. Does that mean I no longer believe in God? Well, I suppose it depends on a person's individual definition. This I know; I am loved and lovable and loving and watched over and protected and blessed and abide in and with and around something larger than this local "Me". I believe there is ultimately no duality....or that in the duality there is perfect balance.
We use to walk in the Redwoods when I was a little girl. I loved it on a level I didn't even understand at the time, and had long forgotten until a couple of years ago as I began to study the relationship the Shaman and the Native Americans had with Nature....then I remembered how I felt as a child when I was outside.
Something as simple as taking the time to look up at and appreciate the beauty of the moon in the sky tonight is my prayer and my offering...and to be of service to those who come into my life in a loving way is my mission.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Wild Geese
For this beautiful, almost Fall day, the Shaman in me wants to share one of my favorite poems by Mary Oliver
WILD GEESE
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
and mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean, blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
I experienced this during my VQ time last summer. Such a connection to nature and all of life and it sustains me, even today.
WILD GEESE
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
and mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean, blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
I experienced this during my VQ time last summer. Such a connection to nature and all of life and it sustains me, even today.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Permanent........
As I have sat with this idea of "Being Love" this summer it has brought me so many understandings and realizations. Being confronted with places I'm closed down, my sharp edges and gaping holes and how deeply and naturally I feel love and can give and receive down into my bones for and from others, for life and the gifts of nature and family. Also the pure joy that comes in life when I, or any of us, really open our hearts and be present to love when the opportunity surfaces in our lives.
I do not believe we choose who we love, or especially who we fall in love with. Love happens to us not too differently than being shot in the heart by cupid; sudden and sharp, usually though it can grow over time like a wildflower (or a wart)and our only choice is if we decide to let it continue to flow through us and change our inner landscape and/or picture of ourselves and the world around us. Hopefully, whether it lasts days or years it leaves us ultimately better off in the process. No joking, love hurts as much as it helps. It stretches and tests us as it takes our hearts on the biggest bunge jumps of our lives, and the free-fall can be a doozie, but if we can let ourselves allow our feet to leave the platform, it is that fall that gives us the ride and rush of our lives. Even when it leaves us initially feeling bruised and fragile, if we allow it, the healing process can be equally wild and wonderful...remind me I said this someday if I need it.
Some come into our lives for a moment and teach or demonstrate something for us; sometimes words don't even need to be exchanged. Others stay for awhile, do their job and get outa Dodge quick and dirty like, only until our time together is done, the lessons learned, the gifts exchanged. A few stay a lifetime, becoming a May Pole around which we weave our existence. Some stay forever, even if only in our hearts.
I regret nothing in my life and as I reflect back on those I('ve) love(d) and those who love(d) me, I'm so grateful for all the unlikely places and times we've found each other. You made life worth living. You added color and depth to my life; made is sweet and creamy. Let's keep the magic alive....whether near or far, past or present, then or now, through the way we move through our lives; may we bring the wisdom and the gifts of our time together and let go of the disappointments and pain and offer it up on the alter of suffering so the pain may be burned to ash and used up. Let it be burned there so it doesn't stay inside our hearts, minds or bodies, doing the damage there, where we are tempted to play it over and over like a bad commercial or used as evidence to justify anger or bitterness in this totally new day life has given us; Let's let it go so we can show up fully and joyfully wherever life has lead us. We are born innocent and did our best.
One of my favorite songs is by Jason Reeves, called "Permanent". I'll share it with you, although this version isn't Jason singing, it's easier to understand this guy's lyrics.......
I do not believe we choose who we love, or especially who we fall in love with. Love happens to us not too differently than being shot in the heart by cupid; sudden and sharp, usually though it can grow over time like a wildflower (or a wart)and our only choice is if we decide to let it continue to flow through us and change our inner landscape and/or picture of ourselves and the world around us. Hopefully, whether it lasts days or years it leaves us ultimately better off in the process. No joking, love hurts as much as it helps. It stretches and tests us as it takes our hearts on the biggest bunge jumps of our lives, and the free-fall can be a doozie, but if we can let ourselves allow our feet to leave the platform, it is that fall that gives us the ride and rush of our lives. Even when it leaves us initially feeling bruised and fragile, if we allow it, the healing process can be equally wild and wonderful...remind me I said this someday if I need it.
Some come into our lives for a moment and teach or demonstrate something for us; sometimes words don't even need to be exchanged. Others stay for awhile, do their job and get outa Dodge quick and dirty like, only until our time together is done, the lessons learned, the gifts exchanged. A few stay a lifetime, becoming a May Pole around which we weave our existence. Some stay forever, even if only in our hearts.
I regret nothing in my life and as I reflect back on those I('ve) love(d) and those who love(d) me, I'm so grateful for all the unlikely places and times we've found each other. You made life worth living. You added color and depth to my life; made is sweet and creamy. Let's keep the magic alive....whether near or far, past or present, then or now, through the way we move through our lives; may we bring the wisdom and the gifts of our time together and let go of the disappointments and pain and offer it up on the alter of suffering so the pain may be burned to ash and used up. Let it be burned there so it doesn't stay inside our hearts, minds or bodies, doing the damage there, where we are tempted to play it over and over like a bad commercial or used as evidence to justify anger or bitterness in this totally new day life has given us; Let's let it go so we can show up fully and joyfully wherever life has lead us. We are born innocent and did our best.
One of my favorite songs is by Jason Reeves, called "Permanent". I'll share it with you, although this version isn't Jason singing, it's easier to understand this guy's lyrics.......
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