Have you ever noticed?

That those people in your life who are most uncomfortable with who you are or what you choose are usually the ones who, in their own lives, don't like to 'rock the boat' and something in the way you are living is rocking their boat and they don't like it. Their motto could be 'live and let live', however, it could be called into question whether they are really even living at all or just going through the motions. It makes them uncomfortable (subconsciously) watching you think and act for yourself, consciously. They are most comfortable keeping busy in mindless tasks and diversions, avoiding looking within themselves, lest they should actually glimpse or acknowledge what is REALLY going on INSIDE their own hearts and minds or what the truth of their own life and circumstances are. In the language of co-dependency, it may be said that they don't see or don't want to see the elephant in the living room and heaven forbid you say it out loud or especially choose to live a life with no elephants.

We are all a mixed bag of black and white, darkness and light, good and evil yet we live in a culture that wants to live 24/7 only in the white, light, good part of life; fearing the other side of ourselves and others. What I have discovered is that when I accepted those darker aspects I had been pushing away and fearing, they were not near as dreadful as I had been told they would be. When I invited them in with compassion and acceptance, they brought unexpected lightness and beauty into my life. My sensuality brought creativity, my wrinkles brought wisdom.

Meister Eckhart says that "One of the most subversive and amazing theings that can happen to a human being is the birth of God in the soul." Once that birthing happens and the divine awakens within you, that is the most divine invitation to creativity.

John O'Donohue says that 'Imagination is the great friend of possibility and when imagination is alive possibility is awakened, alert and ready to go. When your imagination really opens to something you have it in a way that you will never lose it again. Things that you truly, deeply live and experience and open to never leave you." He goes on to say that "the imagination is just like sex, and spirituality is just like sex. It is the most intimate opening and entering and receiving." I expect that those who compose music or write would testify that it is truly like conceiving and giving birth to something.

I would propose that much of our growth and maturity come from the dark, unexpected, messy things that show up in our lives. Years ago I was living a very safe, careful life when a man showed up that I knew, instinctively, could and would break my heart in a million pieces. Not only was he unconventional, but his life was certainly messy. I kept pushing him away and rationalizing away the feelings I had for him as not safe or good for me. I wished him away so often he should have been invisible. Nevertheless he would not go away. One afternoon at the beach, I found myself missing him so deeply I felt a deep ache in my chest. Apparently all of the talking myself out of it and facts made no sense to my heart. As I sat in the sand I opened my palms to the sky and asked a simple question, the answer to which rocked my world like no other....and made me wish I'd never asked. I think I asked, "Why is he here and what am I supposed to do?" Have you ever received an answer in prayer/meditation that you got in literally an instant, yet when you explain it to someone else, it may to take minutes to convey? Well, it happened to me that day, and what I was told was so true that if I were to deny it, I would also have to deny the existence of gravity. It's truth pierced me to the core, and yet defied all logic in the everyday world. I was told, "Valerie, you've always been really safe with your heart and with love in your life, and really, has it helped at all? Has it really ever gotten you anywhere? The last few years of your life have been about learning to love others unconditionally, and you've got that. Now......it's time to learn to LET YOURSELF BE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY. He is here and he loves you. You let him love you."

More later........