Gifts from the Sea

I was able to go to the beach this Fall with some girlfriends. They mostly scrapbooked and I mostly read. We all talked and laughed and ate and shared. We had an ocean-front home and I was in heaven listening to the waves crashing. I couldn't wait to get out there and walk. I was in the middle of reading the book, "Eat, Pray, Love" so I stuffed it in my pocket in case my walk called for a time to sit down and read or rest. Little did I know that one of my sweetest, most coveted gifts was about to be bestowed, or maybe only realized.

It was a sunny, warm November day and I soaked it all in, knowing it may be the last for the season. The sound of the surf, the sight of the water moving over and around the rocks, the presence of the people, alone and in groups warmed my heart. I can't put my finger on it, but the beach appears to cast a magical spell on people. I saw it on their faces and felt it within myself as we shared the same strip of sand.

I found myself in a spontaneous cyle of walking and reading, enjoying both equally. During what turned out to be my final reading stop, I finished a chapter and as I lifted my head to take in the water...it happened. The words of my intention from my time at Vision Quest rushed, word for word, into my mind and I had the realization that I had received all that I had asked for.

I can't honestly say if it had been slowly seeping into my marrow over time, or was lovingly bestowed in that moment. But it was tangibly there in my body and soul. It was cellular and I cried with the realization of it's deep presencewithin me and the completeness I felt with it there. And it has not left me since. Much of what was healed was around the fatigue brought on by 2 tiring years, but really, it originated in my soul, only brought to the surface by my life as it unfolded. I have felt pulled toward another area of service in my life, and although I climbed to my quest site not having a clear picture of it, I knew I didn't have the energy and drive to do it myself.

Michelle, my teacher, had said our lives would never be the same, but the heretic within me really wondered at her words. As we stood in a circle, at the base of the hill, ready for 3 days on our own without food, and for me, little water and no artificial light, she told us to look around at eachother. She told us that this would be the last time we would be these people.

What happened on that hill was magical and sacred, yet profoundly simple as well. Some of it makes no sense to my logical mind, but my spirit was opening and I could feel it. The details of my time belong only to myself and a small circle of trusted friends. Although I didn't necessarily FEEL any difference when I came down, I knew the time had been sacred and intensely altering on some unforseen level. But things have certainly changed since coming home, for all of us. It isn't that I am living a new life. I am still working 2 jobs and still live in the same temporary home, but I am living the life that I have been given in a new way, perhaps intangible to those around me.

The things I asked to receive from that time alone begin manifesting within weeks of coming home. It started with the sale of my cabin, which had sat on the market for over 18 months. While nothing I asked for was on the material plane, it has been changes on the material plane that have opened the room in my life and my heart for the inner changes I asked for. I am being completely supported and cared for each day in a new way.

After sitting in gratitude for some time, I rose to my feet to head back to the house. The previous night had been windy and rainy, so the ocean had left the beach scattered with a miriad of treasures.

I had only walked about 10 feet when a small floating ball of seaweed with a large crack in it caught my eye. I picked it up and heard the words, "You know, all those times you felt broken? You were never really broken, you were just being opened."

As I continued my trek home, I kept being taught. I noticed a stone, carved deeply by years of water running over, and now through it. "Let life shape you. Don't fight it, let it mold you."

An unbroken floater seaweed; "Just float. Don't try to control your course. You'll end up right where you belong."

Another rock, housing many small shells, "Let others live within the safety of your home. Be a safe haven for others to rest."

An opened shell, shiny like abalone on the inside,"Let your inner light show."

By the time I got to the house, my hands were full. I didn't want to forget a single lesson, so I carried each until I could rest them safely on the table to write down later.

While what I specifically asked for and received that day, is sacred to me, I will share that it has given me what I needed to move into living more powerfully and peacefully, a beautiful, joyful life, no matter what happens around me. And that it is in nature that I can always go to get everything I need to do and be all that life asks of me.