A great spiritual teacher (who I don't recall his name at the moment) had a tradition of asking his closest friends to sit with him annually and ask them to tell him where he was blind, meaning where was he so close to his own life that he was not seeing the forest for the trees.
We all have those times and places within us when we feel stuck or confused or lost as to how to view something, what, if any action we should take or where we are selling ourselves or our loved ones short.
After returning from Ireland, life soon took on a frenetic pace preparing the home I live in to be placed on the market, which required some major spring cleaning after months of neglect after my knee injury, and this time of year is full of celebration with birthdays and graduations at every turn. All good things....but hence, no quiet time for contemplation or stillness.
So many great milestones, especially this year. Amber graduated from High School and is preparing her life to move out into the world on her own. Laura completed Elementary School and steps into the new activity of being a cheerleader....can you believe it? So many things still float just above the ground, refusing to pick a spot and stay there.
I've certainly learned so much during this 2 years of proverbial 'homelessness'. I have spent this last month contemplating what I have learned from this time and decided that in losing personal ownership of a physical dwelling, I have had to find a new way to feel at home. Ungrounding me as never before, it caused me to be at home in my body, at home in my soul, at home in the unknown.
As I watch so many others in the world lose so much more than I have, I realize that this time on the planet is offering us all the opportunity to discover what is unchanging and important within a world with rising waters and shifting plates; and it is only through wearing blinders or blindfolds that any of us can really feel any sense of ownership or permanence in anything physical whether that be our bodies or our houses.
For me, it has brought me to a deeper look inside, to what can never be lost and even travel with me beyond this reality.
And so I sit, a quiet breeze blowing through the blue sky and ask you, my friends and fellow travelers, to the same question;
"Where am I blind?"
As you watch me move through my life, and hear me talk, what am I missing that is right in front of my face? Where am I my own worst enemy? Where am I keeping blessings back and calling trouble in? Where can I be more open and where do I need to close doors? Where am I blind to my gifts and selling myself short?
I'm not so much asking to be told what to do or think, but where to look further at myself, inside, at my motivations and fears and where is my vision so focused on one thing that I cannot see other things?
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Gifting......
This time of year not only marks my birth, but also brings Mother's Day....and with it comes the proverbial question, "What do you want" question from friends and family. My life is so glorious lately and all my emotional, spiritual and financial needs met that there is truly nothing that feels missing, leaving me a little short on answers to the question being posed.
My father lives a rather simple, non-materialistic existence, so it was not an unfamiliar sentiment to hear myself exclaim that I really don't need to be given gifts. It is nice to be in a place of contentment and non-reaching, where truly I am grateful and aware of the bounty life has given. People and relationship are really my most prized gift.
While I have come a long way in my ability to let the negative judgments and opinions of others wash over me like a wave and not even mind getting wet, I've discovered that I am still very vulnerable when it comes to the words of those I carried in my womb. I am beginning to really grasp the complexity of the connection and see that even though the apron strings appear to be cut, there must still be a thousand tiny threads connecting my heart to them in ways that reverberate into my chest like the plucking of an acoustical guitar string straight into the head of a microphone. I suppose the gift being that as each invisable string is struck, it breaks, leaving only the truth of my love where the connection was. I don't want them to pretend I'm perfect or flatter me with false praise, but when my imperfection is placed on the chopping block for conversation.....well, I may as well have been there in person because I felt the knife enter my chest as if I was.
I have come to understand that the judgments that hurt the most are the ones that contain threads of truth that we have already seen ourselves as places we struggle and fall short. It must be the fact that we have ALREADY JUDGED OURSELVES in the same area. So the arrival of the same judgment from another is really only the opening of a PRE-EXISTING, SELF-INFLICTED WOUND that we have failed to adequately dress with compassion and care for ourselves. It is as if we let ourselves bleed, hoping no one will notice the red liquid stain, but when they do, we want to blame the pain on the one who pointed it out so blantantly.
No one is harder on themselves than a mother, and perhaps even more so, single mothers, as we attempt to do the work designed by nature to be attended to by two.
So we try spliting ourselves in half, yet wonder why, at times, we feel fragmented and pulled in opposite directions. Even when we recite the notion to ourselves and others that "we are doing the best we can", inside some part of us really believes we SHOULD be able to do better, and that is little bandage for the bleeding we feel when we worry how our humanness may affect and be seen by our children.
I suppose I thought I had saved myself the pain of feeling split in pieces by consciously choosing to focus, as much as possible, in the few areas I deemed as 'most important' rather than try to be in all of them simultaneously, not realizing there was still pain to be had when someone points and scorns me publicly for the places I rarely inhabit. And I guess, for those who would judge my lack of attendance to certain areas of responsibility, I say, "May you never know for yourself."
Perhaps this is a call for self-compassion. A reminder that ultimately it is our job as parents, single or paired, mother or father, to tend to ourselves equally, if not more carefully than we do those in our charge. To hold ourselves gently as we so clearly see our own limits. May we draw ourselves close to the heart in the lap of the Divine, who gently bids us peace of mind and offers joy in the journey, despite the things that get done but go unnoticed, as well as those left undone and therefore stand like a monument to your limits, waiting for a passerby to notice and do with as they will.
But in everything there is a teaching and a blessing and a chance for healing, and so it is (once again)....even though my ego/mind still likes to revisit the graveyard now and then, even though that is not where 'the heart' lies.
May I share with you the sweet words of John O'Donohue regarding such events....
"Though it's way is to strike
In a dumb rhythm,
Stroke upon stroke,
As though the heart
Were an anvil,
The hurt you sent
Had a mind of it's own.
Something in you knew
Exactly how to shape it,
To hit the target,
Slipping into the heart
Through some wound-window
Left open
While it struck outside
It burrowed inside,
Made tunnels through
Every ground of confidence
For days, it would lie still
Until a thought would start it.
Meanwhile you forgot,
Went on with things
And never even knew
How that perfect
Shape of hurt
Still continued to work.
Now a new kindness
Seems to have entered time
And I can see how that hurt
Has schooled my heart
In a compassion I would
Otherwise have never learned.
Somehow now
I have begun to glimpse
The unexpected fruit
Your dark gift has planted
And I thank you
For your unknown work.
So to those whom I love, who profess to love me, and who ask at the milestones "What do I want?"..... I would say,
Gift me with your presence
Show up fully, but only when you really want to
Not out of obligation or fear of disappointing.
Gift me with your stories
Of joy and pain, for through them you grow
To love life and learn wisdom
And in hearing them from you, I deepen too.
Tell it all, every detail...
What was said, felt and discovered
And how it changed you
Gift me with honesty
Tell me when I hurt or disappoint you
When I make you proud or just that you love me.
Tell me the truth, as you see it,
In me, the world and life
As the unfolding Mystery
Gift me with forgiveness
An honest attempt to give
Not only me, but all you meet
The benefit of the doubt
That even in my faults and frailties
You see the inherent worth and Light of God
Most of all...
Gift me with a chosen silence
When it would be easier to judge
Or you feel you can't resist the urge
To share with another the latest amusing, confusing
Insane thing you saw me do...or refrain from
For time has a way, of bringing all things full circle
Gift me with a compassionate, listening ear
When I seek a witness to my life and experience
And open your heart even wider,
That it may take it ALL in
And love me even more when I most confuse you
Gift me with a place at your table
A phone call just because
An invitation to adventure
And the assurance that
Not a day goes by without a smile lifting your lips
In fondness for memories we have yet to create
Gift me with patience
As time slows my steps
And mind's edges dull
Allow me the dignity and freedom of which I am capable,
But if the time comes that I am not safe or sane enough,
Care for me, as I tried to do for you
when you still fit in my arms
And needed a shoulder to sleep on
Namaste
My father lives a rather simple, non-materialistic existence, so it was not an unfamiliar sentiment to hear myself exclaim that I really don't need to be given gifts. It is nice to be in a place of contentment and non-reaching, where truly I am grateful and aware of the bounty life has given. People and relationship are really my most prized gift.
While I have come a long way in my ability to let the negative judgments and opinions of others wash over me like a wave and not even mind getting wet, I've discovered that I am still very vulnerable when it comes to the words of those I carried in my womb. I am beginning to really grasp the complexity of the connection and see that even though the apron strings appear to be cut, there must still be a thousand tiny threads connecting my heart to them in ways that reverberate into my chest like the plucking of an acoustical guitar string straight into the head of a microphone. I suppose the gift being that as each invisable string is struck, it breaks, leaving only the truth of my love where the connection was. I don't want them to pretend I'm perfect or flatter me with false praise, but when my imperfection is placed on the chopping block for conversation.....well, I may as well have been there in person because I felt the knife enter my chest as if I was.
I have come to understand that the judgments that hurt the most are the ones that contain threads of truth that we have already seen ourselves as places we struggle and fall short. It must be the fact that we have ALREADY JUDGED OURSELVES in the same area. So the arrival of the same judgment from another is really only the opening of a PRE-EXISTING, SELF-INFLICTED WOUND that we have failed to adequately dress with compassion and care for ourselves. It is as if we let ourselves bleed, hoping no one will notice the red liquid stain, but when they do, we want to blame the pain on the one who pointed it out so blantantly.
No one is harder on themselves than a mother, and perhaps even more so, single mothers, as we attempt to do the work designed by nature to be attended to by two.
So we try spliting ourselves in half, yet wonder why, at times, we feel fragmented and pulled in opposite directions. Even when we recite the notion to ourselves and others that "we are doing the best we can", inside some part of us really believes we SHOULD be able to do better, and that is little bandage for the bleeding we feel when we worry how our humanness may affect and be seen by our children.
I suppose I thought I had saved myself the pain of feeling split in pieces by consciously choosing to focus, as much as possible, in the few areas I deemed as 'most important' rather than try to be in all of them simultaneously, not realizing there was still pain to be had when someone points and scorns me publicly for the places I rarely inhabit. And I guess, for those who would judge my lack of attendance to certain areas of responsibility, I say, "May you never know for yourself."
Perhaps this is a call for self-compassion. A reminder that ultimately it is our job as parents, single or paired, mother or father, to tend to ourselves equally, if not more carefully than we do those in our charge. To hold ourselves gently as we so clearly see our own limits. May we draw ourselves close to the heart in the lap of the Divine, who gently bids us peace of mind and offers joy in the journey, despite the things that get done but go unnoticed, as well as those left undone and therefore stand like a monument to your limits, waiting for a passerby to notice and do with as they will.
But in everything there is a teaching and a blessing and a chance for healing, and so it is (once again)....even though my ego/mind still likes to revisit the graveyard now and then, even though that is not where 'the heart' lies.
May I share with you the sweet words of John O'Donohue regarding such events....
"Though it's way is to strike
In a dumb rhythm,
Stroke upon stroke,
As though the heart
Were an anvil,
The hurt you sent
Had a mind of it's own.
Something in you knew
Exactly how to shape it,
To hit the target,
Slipping into the heart
Through some wound-window
Left open
While it struck outside
It burrowed inside,
Made tunnels through
Every ground of confidence
For days, it would lie still
Until a thought would start it.
Meanwhile you forgot,
Went on with things
And never even knew
How that perfect
Shape of hurt
Still continued to work.
Now a new kindness
Seems to have entered time
And I can see how that hurt
Has schooled my heart
In a compassion I would
Otherwise have never learned.
Somehow now
I have begun to glimpse
The unexpected fruit
Your dark gift has planted
And I thank you
For your unknown work.
So to those whom I love, who profess to love me, and who ask at the milestones "What do I want?"..... I would say,
Gift me with your presence
Show up fully, but only when you really want to
Not out of obligation or fear of disappointing.
Gift me with your stories
Of joy and pain, for through them you grow
To love life and learn wisdom
And in hearing them from you, I deepen too.
Tell it all, every detail...
What was said, felt and discovered
And how it changed you
Gift me with honesty
Tell me when I hurt or disappoint you
When I make you proud or just that you love me.
Tell me the truth, as you see it,
In me, the world and life
As the unfolding Mystery
Gift me with forgiveness
An honest attempt to give
Not only me, but all you meet
The benefit of the doubt
That even in my faults and frailties
You see the inherent worth and Light of God
Most of all...
Gift me with a chosen silence
When it would be easier to judge
Or you feel you can't resist the urge
To share with another the latest amusing, confusing
Insane thing you saw me do...or refrain from
For time has a way, of bringing all things full circle
Gift me with a compassionate, listening ear
When I seek a witness to my life and experience
And open your heart even wider,
That it may take it ALL in
And love me even more when I most confuse you
Gift me with a place at your table
A phone call just because
An invitation to adventure
And the assurance that
Not a day goes by without a smile lifting your lips
In fondness for memories we have yet to create
Gift me with patience
As time slows my steps
And mind's edges dull
Allow me the dignity and freedom of which I am capable,
But if the time comes that I am not safe or sane enough,
Care for me, as I tried to do for you
when you still fit in my arms
And needed a shoulder to sleep on
Namaste
Friday, May 2, 2008
Have you ever noticed?
That those people in your life who are most uncomfortable with who you are or what you choose are usually the ones who, in their own lives, don't like to 'rock the boat' and something in the way you are living is rocking their boat and they don't like it. Their motto could be 'live and let live', however, it could be called into question whether they are really even living at all or just going through the motions. It makes them uncomfortable (subconsciously) watching you think and act for yourself, consciously. They are most comfortable keeping busy in mindless tasks and diversions, avoiding looking within themselves, lest they should actually glimpse or acknowledge what is REALLY going on INSIDE their own hearts and minds or what the truth of their own life and circumstances are. In the language of co-dependency, it may be said that they don't see or don't want to see the elephant in the living room and heaven forbid you say it out loud or especially choose to live a life with no elephants.
We are all a mixed bag of black and white, darkness and light, good and evil yet we live in a culture that wants to live 24/7 only in the white, light, good part of life; fearing the other side of ourselves and others. What I have discovered is that when I accepted those darker aspects I had been pushing away and fearing, they were not near as dreadful as I had been told they would be. When I invited them in with compassion and acceptance, they brought unexpected lightness and beauty into my life. My sensuality brought creativity, my wrinkles brought wisdom.
Meister Eckhart says that "One of the most subversive and amazing theings that can happen to a human being is the birth of God in the soul." Once that birthing happens and the divine awakens within you, that is the most divine invitation to creativity.
John O'Donohue says that 'Imagination is the great friend of possibility and when imagination is alive possibility is awakened, alert and ready to go. When your imagination really opens to something you have it in a way that you will never lose it again. Things that you truly, deeply live and experience and open to never leave you." He goes on to say that "the imagination is just like sex, and spirituality is just like sex. It is the most intimate opening and entering and receiving." I expect that those who compose music or write would testify that it is truly like conceiving and giving birth to something.
I would propose that much of our growth and maturity come from the dark, unexpected, messy things that show up in our lives. Years ago I was living a very safe, careful life when a man showed up that I knew, instinctively, could and would break my heart in a million pieces. Not only was he unconventional, but his life was certainly messy. I kept pushing him away and rationalizing away the feelings I had for him as not safe or good for me. I wished him away so often he should have been invisible. Nevertheless he would not go away. One afternoon at the beach, I found myself missing him so deeply I felt a deep ache in my chest. Apparently all of the talking myself out of it and facts made no sense to my heart. As I sat in the sand I opened my palms to the sky and asked a simple question, the answer to which rocked my world like no other....and made me wish I'd never asked. I think I asked, "Why is he here and what am I supposed to do?" Have you ever received an answer in prayer/meditation that you got in literally an instant, yet when you explain it to someone else, it may to take minutes to convey? Well, it happened to me that day, and what I was told was so true that if I were to deny it, I would also have to deny the existence of gravity. It's truth pierced me to the core, and yet defied all logic in the everyday world. I was told, "Valerie, you've always been really safe with your heart and with love in your life, and really, has it helped at all? Has it really ever gotten you anywhere? The last few years of your life have been about learning to love others unconditionally, and you've got that. Now......it's time to learn to LET YOURSELF BE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY. He is here and he loves you. You let him love you."
More later........
We are all a mixed bag of black and white, darkness and light, good and evil yet we live in a culture that wants to live 24/7 only in the white, light, good part of life; fearing the other side of ourselves and others. What I have discovered is that when I accepted those darker aspects I had been pushing away and fearing, they were not near as dreadful as I had been told they would be. When I invited them in with compassion and acceptance, they brought unexpected lightness and beauty into my life. My sensuality brought creativity, my wrinkles brought wisdom.
Meister Eckhart says that "One of the most subversive and amazing theings that can happen to a human being is the birth of God in the soul." Once that birthing happens and the divine awakens within you, that is the most divine invitation to creativity.
John O'Donohue says that 'Imagination is the great friend of possibility and when imagination is alive possibility is awakened, alert and ready to go. When your imagination really opens to something you have it in a way that you will never lose it again. Things that you truly, deeply live and experience and open to never leave you." He goes on to say that "the imagination is just like sex, and spirituality is just like sex. It is the most intimate opening and entering and receiving." I expect that those who compose music or write would testify that it is truly like conceiving and giving birth to something.
I would propose that much of our growth and maturity come from the dark, unexpected, messy things that show up in our lives. Years ago I was living a very safe, careful life when a man showed up that I knew, instinctively, could and would break my heart in a million pieces. Not only was he unconventional, but his life was certainly messy. I kept pushing him away and rationalizing away the feelings I had for him as not safe or good for me. I wished him away so often he should have been invisible. Nevertheless he would not go away. One afternoon at the beach, I found myself missing him so deeply I felt a deep ache in my chest. Apparently all of the talking myself out of it and facts made no sense to my heart. As I sat in the sand I opened my palms to the sky and asked a simple question, the answer to which rocked my world like no other....and made me wish I'd never asked. I think I asked, "Why is he here and what am I supposed to do?" Have you ever received an answer in prayer/meditation that you got in literally an instant, yet when you explain it to someone else, it may to take minutes to convey? Well, it happened to me that day, and what I was told was so true that if I were to deny it, I would also have to deny the existence of gravity. It's truth pierced me to the core, and yet defied all logic in the everyday world. I was told, "Valerie, you've always been really safe with your heart and with love in your life, and really, has it helped at all? Has it really ever gotten you anywhere? The last few years of your life have been about learning to love others unconditionally, and you've got that. Now......it's time to learn to LET YOURSELF BE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY. He is here and he loves you. You let him love you."
More later........
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Born and reborn again
I think my co-workers are thinking I'm either very tired or are baffled by my silence since I have returned from Ireland. The truth is....I'm settling into this quiet space where all is well and there is really nothing to say most of the time. I have been deeply affected by this magic land. I'm still not sure exactly how, but I am changed. As we journeyed through the country for 10 days, I felt like I was gathering to myself little unknown missing pieces and stuffing them in my pockets along with the stones and wool. It's honestly hard to describe. The words are yet to come. As we gathered at the sacred sites as a group we often ended with a Hebrew song "Return Again", and at this point it probably most accurately describes what was happening. The words are:
"Return Again, Return Again, return to the land of my soul
Return to who I am, return to what I am, return to where I am,
Born and reborn again"
One of my favorite areas were the Burren and Conamara on the Western coast with it's grassy valleys and limestone cliffs. It is also the home of the late John O'Donahue, an Irish Poet and philosopher. I had planned on reading some of his works before the trip, but got side-tracked, but as we drove through his home town and as the land fed and nourished me and we drove past his grave, I found my curiousity growing for this man and perhaps how this land would shape a poet and what he would birth from that beauty. I have dove deeply into his words since returning and I am at a loss for words at the wisdom and depth of this man and so saddened that he has left this realm just last January unexpectedly at age 52. It will be a loss for us, but what he left us is a great gift. If you are interested in hearing his voice, I would suggest doing a google search for the OPB radio show "Speaking of Faith" and when you get to the site, search for her interview with him under "John O'Donahue". His web site is :
www.jodonohue.com
I share with you some of his words that describe what I have experienced in my own life in the last 5 years. This is from his reflections.
"When your soul awakens,you begin to truly inherit your life. YOu leave the kingdom of fake surfaces, repetative talk and weary voices and slip deeper into the true adventure of who you are and who you are called to become. The greatest friend of the soul is the unknown. Yet we are afraid of the unknown because it lies outside our vision and our control. The normal way never leads home.
Once you start to awaken, no one can ever claim you again for old patterns. Now you realize how precious your time here is. You are no longer willing to squander your essence on undertakings that do not nourish your true self; your patience grows thin with tired talk and dead language. You see through the roster of expectation which promises safety and the confirmation of outer identity. Now you are impatient for growth, willing to put yourself in the way of change. You want your work to become an expression of your gift. You want your relationship to voyage beyond the pallid frontiers to where the danger of transformation dwells. You want your God to be wild and to call you to where your destiny awaits. When you begin to sense that your imagination is the place where you are most divine, you feel called to clean out of your mind all the worn and shabby furniture of thought. When your inner senses are blurred, you can see nothing in or of yourself; you become a respectable prisoner of received images. On this journey, you begin to see how the sides of your heart that seemed awkward, contradictory and uneven are the places where your treasure lies hidden. You begin to become truer to yourself. The journey shows you that from this inner dedication you can reconstruct your own values and action. You develop from your own self-compassion a great compassion for others. You are no longer caught in the false game of judgment , comparison and assumption. More naked now than ever , you begin to feel truly alive. You begin to trust the music of your own soul; you have inherited treasure that no one will ever be able to take from you. At the deepest level, this adventure of growth is in fact a transfigurative conversation with your own death. And when the time comes for you to leave, the view from your death bed will show a life of growth that gladdens the heart and takes away all fear."
He calls spirituality "The Art of Homecoming". He says that one of the intentions of a spiritual life, or a life that is open to the soul is to try to come home to yourself.
Just having returned from travel, I especially appreciate his comment that "no matter where you travel, or how you travel or how exotic your gurus,or how exotic the geography that might be presented to you for potential travel, if you're not looking after the identity of the traveler, the tickets and the destinations make no difference whatsoever".
His theory is:
"You need to go nowhere as long as you are fully where you are".
"Return Again, Return Again, return to the land of my soul
Return to who I am, return to what I am, return to where I am,
Born and reborn again"
One of my favorite areas were the Burren and Conamara on the Western coast with it's grassy valleys and limestone cliffs. It is also the home of the late John O'Donahue, an Irish Poet and philosopher. I had planned on reading some of his works before the trip, but got side-tracked, but as we drove through his home town and as the land fed and nourished me and we drove past his grave, I found my curiousity growing for this man and perhaps how this land would shape a poet and what he would birth from that beauty. I have dove deeply into his words since returning and I am at a loss for words at the wisdom and depth of this man and so saddened that he has left this realm just last January unexpectedly at age 52. It will be a loss for us, but what he left us is a great gift. If you are interested in hearing his voice, I would suggest doing a google search for the OPB radio show "Speaking of Faith" and when you get to the site, search for her interview with him under "John O'Donahue". His web site is :
www.jodonohue.com
I share with you some of his words that describe what I have experienced in my own life in the last 5 years. This is from his reflections.
"When your soul awakens,you begin to truly inherit your life. YOu leave the kingdom of fake surfaces, repetative talk and weary voices and slip deeper into the true adventure of who you are and who you are called to become. The greatest friend of the soul is the unknown. Yet we are afraid of the unknown because it lies outside our vision and our control. The normal way never leads home.
Once you start to awaken, no one can ever claim you again for old patterns. Now you realize how precious your time here is. You are no longer willing to squander your essence on undertakings that do not nourish your true self; your patience grows thin with tired talk and dead language. You see through the roster of expectation which promises safety and the confirmation of outer identity. Now you are impatient for growth, willing to put yourself in the way of change. You want your work to become an expression of your gift. You want your relationship to voyage beyond the pallid frontiers to where the danger of transformation dwells. You want your God to be wild and to call you to where your destiny awaits. When you begin to sense that your imagination is the place where you are most divine, you feel called to clean out of your mind all the worn and shabby furniture of thought. When your inner senses are blurred, you can see nothing in or of yourself; you become a respectable prisoner of received images. On this journey, you begin to see how the sides of your heart that seemed awkward, contradictory and uneven are the places where your treasure lies hidden. You begin to become truer to yourself. The journey shows you that from this inner dedication you can reconstruct your own values and action. You develop from your own self-compassion a great compassion for others. You are no longer caught in the false game of judgment , comparison and assumption. More naked now than ever , you begin to feel truly alive. You begin to trust the music of your own soul; you have inherited treasure that no one will ever be able to take from you. At the deepest level, this adventure of growth is in fact a transfigurative conversation with your own death. And when the time comes for you to leave, the view from your death bed will show a life of growth that gladdens the heart and takes away all fear."
He calls spirituality "The Art of Homecoming". He says that one of the intentions of a spiritual life, or a life that is open to the soul is to try to come home to yourself.
Just having returned from travel, I especially appreciate his comment that "no matter where you travel, or how you travel or how exotic your gurus,or how exotic the geography that might be presented to you for potential travel, if you're not looking after the identity of the traveler, the tickets and the destinations make no difference whatsoever".
His theory is:
"You need to go nowhere as long as you are fully where you are".
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Speechless........
is a word I seldom feel, perhaps to the dismay of others, but that is what I find myself.
What has transpired since posting 2 weeks ago is still sifting it's way through me. It's not a bad thing, really, as long as I can accept that in certain moments, in human terms, it feels that way because I am, after all, human.
While my intention was to pose an idea for consideration and give a personal example of it's relevance to my life, and share a small portion of a very personal walk, which in turn might present others with an opportunity to practice the concept, this one post has become 'the gift that keeps on giving', presenting me with several teachings that I have yet to truly understand.
The fall-out is still happening, it appears. Apparently, I have pushed some proverbial buttons....
And so, I get another chance to practice staying in the present moment, allowing the perfection and the love to emerge from within and around me. My heart and mind, on the other hand, are in a sort of wrestling match, which I refuse to actively participate in, other than for a few moments at a time until my spirit softly raises her index finger to her pursed lips and whispers, "Not useful". My heart is actually poised shyly in the corner, almost begging to leave the room, and only strikes back at my mind in self-defense. So truly, it is my mind that is the aggressor. He's got his boxing gloves on, ready to defend us all, trying to talk my heart into leaving and take this whole thing outside (of myself) and team up against what it thinks is a bigger opponent. I fundamentally disagree with both of their strategies.
Funny thing is....neither is going to win, alone or together. But that is only because my soul stands patiently at the door, softly raising her hand when either of them try to leave the room; ever reminding both of them of the truth....there is no enemy, except the one they imagine. It's all a grand illusion they've self-created to give them something to do while I sit back and be still and wait and stay present with all 'of us' so the teaching I am being presented with can come out from behind the curtain. The truth is in the room, it just hasn't made itself known. The heart and mind think it's outside and want to go slay the 'dragon' so they can feel safe again, perhaps even claim a victory, at least that is what they think. But my soul knows better. There is no enemy. Nothing to defend. Nothing to fix.
You may have heard the story of the old woman who lost her precious ring, with so much sentimental value, and so she calls up all her friends and family to help her search outside, as she has been doing. They scour the yard, digging up both the front and back, plants and all. When it doesn't turn up they search the neighborhood, as they look suspiciously at the neighbors, wondering if perhaps it's been found, but not returned. After exhausting themselves, someone asks her where she had it last, to which she replies, "Oh, I took it off in the kitchen last night before doing the dishes". Surprised and confused her friend asks her, "Then why are we looking outside?" Her reply......"Because it's dark in there and hard to see and there is so much more daylight out here."
So, rather than leave the confines of my own heart and mind, looking for the truth where it never was in the first place. Rather than looking to pin the experience and emotions on what my mind and heart try to tell me are the supposed perpetrators, I will sit and wait until I feel like finding my flashlight and then look where I saw it last, for what sometimes feels lost, but never really was. It's still here...inside. And I'll find it soon enough. Maybe dusty, maybe tarnished, maybe bent, or missing a stone. Nevertheless, still present.
Sometimes, when something transpires that is either emotional or confusing my body feels like an old-fashioned hourglass, and I just have to sit, and wait for all the sand to get to the bottom, and then, there I am.....at the bottom line, the teaching, the wisdom.
What has transpired since posting 2 weeks ago is still sifting it's way through me. It's not a bad thing, really, as long as I can accept that in certain moments, in human terms, it feels that way because I am, after all, human.
While my intention was to pose an idea for consideration and give a personal example of it's relevance to my life, and share a small portion of a very personal walk, which in turn might present others with an opportunity to practice the concept, this one post has become 'the gift that keeps on giving', presenting me with several teachings that I have yet to truly understand.
The fall-out is still happening, it appears. Apparently, I have pushed some proverbial buttons....
And so, I get another chance to practice staying in the present moment, allowing the perfection and the love to emerge from within and around me. My heart and mind, on the other hand, are in a sort of wrestling match, which I refuse to actively participate in, other than for a few moments at a time until my spirit softly raises her index finger to her pursed lips and whispers, "Not useful". My heart is actually poised shyly in the corner, almost begging to leave the room, and only strikes back at my mind in self-defense. So truly, it is my mind that is the aggressor. He's got his boxing gloves on, ready to defend us all, trying to talk my heart into leaving and take this whole thing outside (of myself) and team up against what it thinks is a bigger opponent. I fundamentally disagree with both of their strategies.
Funny thing is....neither is going to win, alone or together. But that is only because my soul stands patiently at the door, softly raising her hand when either of them try to leave the room; ever reminding both of them of the truth....there is no enemy, except the one they imagine. It's all a grand illusion they've self-created to give them something to do while I sit back and be still and wait and stay present with all 'of us' so the teaching I am being presented with can come out from behind the curtain. The truth is in the room, it just hasn't made itself known. The heart and mind think it's outside and want to go slay the 'dragon' so they can feel safe again, perhaps even claim a victory, at least that is what they think. But my soul knows better. There is no enemy. Nothing to defend. Nothing to fix.
You may have heard the story of the old woman who lost her precious ring, with so much sentimental value, and so she calls up all her friends and family to help her search outside, as she has been doing. They scour the yard, digging up both the front and back, plants and all. When it doesn't turn up they search the neighborhood, as they look suspiciously at the neighbors, wondering if perhaps it's been found, but not returned. After exhausting themselves, someone asks her where she had it last, to which she replies, "Oh, I took it off in the kitchen last night before doing the dishes". Surprised and confused her friend asks her, "Then why are we looking outside?" Her reply......"Because it's dark in there and hard to see and there is so much more daylight out here."
So, rather than leave the confines of my own heart and mind, looking for the truth where it never was in the first place. Rather than looking to pin the experience and emotions on what my mind and heart try to tell me are the supposed perpetrators, I will sit and wait until I feel like finding my flashlight and then look where I saw it last, for what sometimes feels lost, but never really was. It's still here...inside. And I'll find it soon enough. Maybe dusty, maybe tarnished, maybe bent, or missing a stone. Nevertheless, still present.
Sometimes, when something transpires that is either emotional or confusing my body feels like an old-fashioned hourglass, and I just have to sit, and wait for all the sand to get to the bottom, and then, there I am.....at the bottom line, the teaching, the wisdom.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
God's Greatest Truth...Chocolate...or Strawberry
When the intellect, or mind, is exposed to a new idea, concept or experience, it is faced with a choice; incorporate the new information into the existing paradigm or dismiss it as irrelevant. We do this a thousand times a day without even noticing. But...what if we started paying attentioon? Made it more conscious?
This new 'stuff' usually arrives at our 'operating system' via sensory input at some level; either eyes, ears, mouth or nose and when it does, a littel window pops up asking us to choose if we want to "save it, open it now or cancel ". I would pose the idea that just because we decide to hit cancel does not in actuality correspond to whether it had in actual relavance, only whether we thought it did.
If we choose to "open it", perhaps that allows the 'thing' to enter the mind, or intelligence, which deals mostly with logic and past exerience, the lizard brain and gray matter (if I remember my anatomy). I would suggest that choosiing "Save" is like letting it enter our soul, or deeper self, allowing for more long term options and maybe even 'free downloads' and 'upgrades'....perhaps our cerebral cortex, which has many more 'options'. We can commune with our higher source about it and receive all that it can offer, but it requires more time and patience.
I ran across this quote in a book I'm reading that says,
"God's greatest truth is that there is not one way, but many ways home. There are thousands of paths to God and every one will get you there. Indeed all paths lead to God because there is no other place to go."
I have sat with those words all week. It brought up for me the thought that although it was true for me, many people I love and who love me, might not agree, or feel confused as to what it meant. A part of me sought, once again, to reconcile my personal journey with God in the context of what I was raised to believe, how those beliefs have changed over time and how that has impacted others.
I think it's harder for them to ask about it than it is for me to talk about. I'm not actually sure they really want to know, and I respect that. Perhaps it is easier to hit cancel have the story you have told yourself about something so that it will make sense to you or hit open and let your mind give you all the reasons it doesn'tfit with the way you look at things rather than try to comprehend something entirely outside the realm of your personal experience. I am not attached to being believed or validated and the only respect that matters to me is my own. The only one who can truly disappoint me is myself.
I remember when someone tried to teach me to play chess. I didn't really have any internal desire to learn, but I knew how much others liked it and thought it would be 'a good skill to acquire'. But as soon as they started telling me the rules I couldn't keep my brain on. I don't know why but some part of me shut down. Maybe that's what happens for them. When I am asked, I soon find the subject changed. With chess, t all just seemed too hard, and besides, I was perfectly content with checkers. I didn't want to have to 'work' that hard at 'playing a game' I told myself. Games are supposed to be fun.
Perhaps that is what happens when poeple try to unerstand what "happened to me". After many wonderful, personal, spritual experiences in the church of my birth, I began to be lead by that same presence in ways that were slightly intimidating to me at first. Books appeared in my life. I met many amazing people who lived lives of integrity and joy. I had the good fortune to be invited to observe and experience worship within other churches and participate in spiritual practices of many different cultures. I had little fear of doing so, which I get the impression surprises some poeple who have been taught not to experiment outside their current faith under the guise that 'satan will get you if you go too far away'. Well, you might say, "It's a Test". In response I would ask, "would God be so under-handed that he would design a test that he ultimately wanted you to pass, but fill it with trick questions?" I believed, and still believe that if a place or a thing was not good or good for me, I wouldn't feel good being there or doing it, and that would let me know. I had been taught through scriptures, "By their fruits ye shall know them", and I saw good fruit. That same spirit was also telling me that these other things were also true, and sometimes more true. And as I did what I had been taught to do, which was to use faith, and plant the seed and see if it grew, and if it did then it was a 'good seed'. As time paseed I begin to have experiences that would show me that the basic tentants were based in ultimate truth, but the way that religion, in general, tried to get you to be a "good" and the way "good" was defined were merely a distraction to what spirituality was really about for me... being in communion with God, and feeling God's presence within me and being lead through my life so that I might have peace and share than peace and love with others. And I had been taught that if the Spirit was with you, you were on the right track. So why was everyone so upset and concerned?
Now here is where the mind games begin.....
Somewhere along the line I had been told, "Satan will tell you 9 truths to get you to believe 1 lie." I honestly don't know where I heard that, but it was an almost constant voice in my head and some days I felt literally like I was going crazy. I feared I was being lead 'astray' and I just didn't know it yet. In that respect it was an almost hourly choice; follow the Spirit or follow my fears. I chose Spirit, knowing that if that peace ever left me, I would know I was off course. Sort of my own, internal GPS :)
Depending on your beliefs, you may or may not like the questions this experience brought up for me.
How can one person, or a group of people, rationalize and explain what another person, or group of people is experiencing in their own heart, mind and body?
If someone finds God in a place or through a practice, how can it be called into question? Isn't it arrogant and presumptuous to assume that you, who are not in their heart mind and body, can independently judge that experience for them, and render it either valuable or invaluable, true or untrue?
I was given this analogy in meditation:
There are many flavors of ice cream, probably hundreds, and although some are more popular than others, each flavor would have it's own 'fan club', who would argue it was the "Best", or "only one worth eating". Some people wouldn't pick a favorite at all because to them, "ice cream doesn't taste good in the first place, and besides, it's bad for you". There are also hundreds of different types of music.
At one point I'm sure we've all found ourselves having a discussion over food or music in which someone exclaims how wonderul something is, only to be followed by everyone else's 2 cents, followed by the naming of favorites. Somewhere in the mix someone will usually comment, "Really? I don't like that at all!", seeming actually confused by the idea that it is possible to feel differntly than they do.
When it comes to food and music, the conversation usually ends there, and everyone goes their way all warm and fuzzy, because it is socially acceptable to have a different opinion/experience than someone. Other areas are not so innocent.
When it comes to politics we take it up a notch. The right and wrong of it enter in and the exchanges more spicy. But when it comes to God....the rules change.
We take it VERY personally and find ourselves arguing or feeling threatened or fearful; even worrying or praying for others to believe what we believe; believing that it is the only valid belief. Sometimes make it our quest in life to convince others that they either wrong or mislead in their reality and experience with God. I assume I'm stepping on hollowed ground with my family by comparing Mocha Almond Fudge and John Mayer to God, but really........isn't it just a matter of degrees? It' ok if someone doesn't eat your favorite ice cream, but if they don't worship God (and there is only one of them in Western religion) the way you do, then it's a problem.
When are we going to start picketing at Baskin Robbins or praying for people who eat waffle cones or passing out Mozart pamphlets at Rock concerts? Are we not all open minded enough to see that belief is based on subjective experience, and whether we like it or not, we cannot judge another's experiences. In the words of my favorite, hunky lyricist (is it incenstuous to fantasize about someone who could almost be your son?):
"Belief is a beautiful armour
that makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching under water,
you never quite hit what you're trying for"
"Some need the exhibition,
some have to know they tried,
It's the chemical weapon for the war
that's raging on inside."
We extend this pattern of society into parenting as well. All parents are guilty of telling their children, at times, that what the child sees and feels doesn't count. I've been guilty. We do it all the time; assume that the child should take on the preferences, beliefs and apirations of the parents. While our intentions are generally honorable, there can't help but be some element of unconscious, unquestioned beliefs and motivations. What if, in the interest of what is best for the relationship and the child, we were to examine ourselves and our parenting in this area?
We tell them when they should be hungry, what and how much they should eat, what should taste good and bad, whether they should like or wear certain clothing, when they should sleep and stay awake, all by some theoretical idea in our head, based on what exactly? For example, should they automatically be hungry when YOU are ready for them to sit down at the meal you may or may not have enjoyed making for them? But...because perhaps because you had to make yourself prepare it, they better make themselves sit down and eat it when you tell them, or deal with whatever you choose to dole out as a consequence, which for many parents, turns out to be incessant nagging and complaining in the child's general direction. And to what end? Often what we expect of our children, both in belief and behavior is based more on what is comfortable or convenient for us, rather than, in actuality, right or wrong, good or bad. We assign those labels, but if we really look at it....
Is there possibly another way? Could it be that they really ARE hungry even though it's not dinner time, or that they aren't tired even though the clock says it's bed time or you're just good and ready to get them out of your hair?
The children being born at this time are different. They won't so easily have their spirits broken, or bend to our wills. They came with another picture in their minds. Many of them know who they are, and they think you're the crazy one when you try to tell them something that if you stopped for a minute to think about, makes little, if any, sense to them. Perhaps they do see a better way. They have a new vision, and we would do well to listen. What if we acknowledged that just because something has always been done a certain way, and perhaps you were even begrudgingly forced to do it that way, and maybe it even worked that way at at that time, can we not admit that many of the ways things are being done aren't working any more. Or is it just easier to medicate and punish them. Let's face it, they are a round peg, and they may not ever it in your round whole.
One of my favorite stories is of an African tribe that has a tradition that when a woman finds she is pregnant, there is a point in the pregnancy where she goes alone, out into the bush, and listens. She listens to hear the "song of the soul of that child". And when she hears it she begins to sing, and when the rest of the women in the village hear her, they come out and they join her, and they too began singing the song. Then they all return to the village and soon everyone knows the song. So when that child is born into this world, the first thing they hear is that song. They are rocked to sleep with that song, that belongs only to them, and with it they get the message that they are unique, and that they are recongized and valued for just who they are. Then when each milestone of life comes, they are sung it again. It is done in celebration of success. It is sung to console them in times of suffering, and it is sung as they die and cross over. I would ask; have you stopped and listened for your child's song, or do you treat them as one of the crowd, a smaller version of you, too busy to stop and listen and sing to them the reminder of what God knows is true about them? Or do you make the truth of who they are annoying or unacceptable?
None of us get it automatically all figured out just because we become a parent, yet it seems there is this unspoken belief that because our bodies are larger and they came out of our bodies, that gives us a right to tell them what they think and feel. And that they should automatically, out of respect or telepathy, become and do what we decided was best for them. In the meantime, in the background, we have to admit that we are not respecting or expecting half as much from ourselves as we are from them. And to some degree or another, we are just as confused as ever about how to manage certain areas of our own lives. Perhaps we become so invested in them making us look good precisely because, in truth we feel so bad inside about ourselves. Maybe it's not them that disappoint us. Maybe we disappoint ourselves, but it's easier to blame someone else than look in the mirror. It's always easier to demand more from others than we do from ourselves. As Jesus said, "Remove the mote from your own eye before trying to see the beam in your brother's.".....did I get that backwards?
Perhaps if we got out of their business in areas of opinion and belief and get back into our own, and began trusting ourselves from a place deep within, it would allow us to give them the same privilege.
Perhaps we would all do well to consider our own beliefs. Which ones are truly yours personally, based on your experiences? Which ones have just been blindly adopted by osmosis, but aren't working for you any more? How are those affecting your joy and satisfaction? Have you perhaps been eating only Vanilla in a plastic bowl because somewhere along the line someone told you that it was the only flavor, or at least the only one worth trying.....or better yet "people who eat ice cream in cones don't know what they are missing using a bowl and a spoon".
Life is full of choices, and more than 31. And they are all good in their own way.
This new 'stuff' usually arrives at our 'operating system' via sensory input at some level; either eyes, ears, mouth or nose and when it does, a littel window pops up asking us to choose if we want to "save it, open it now or cancel ". I would pose the idea that just because we decide to hit cancel does not in actuality correspond to whether it had in actual relavance, only whether we thought it did.
If we choose to "open it", perhaps that allows the 'thing' to enter the mind, or intelligence, which deals mostly with logic and past exerience, the lizard brain and gray matter (if I remember my anatomy). I would suggest that choosiing "Save" is like letting it enter our soul, or deeper self, allowing for more long term options and maybe even 'free downloads' and 'upgrades'....perhaps our cerebral cortex, which has many more 'options'. We can commune with our higher source about it and receive all that it can offer, but it requires more time and patience.
I ran across this quote in a book I'm reading that says,
"God's greatest truth is that there is not one way, but many ways home. There are thousands of paths to God and every one will get you there. Indeed all paths lead to God because there is no other place to go."
I have sat with those words all week. It brought up for me the thought that although it was true for me, many people I love and who love me, might not agree, or feel confused as to what it meant. A part of me sought, once again, to reconcile my personal journey with God in the context of what I was raised to believe, how those beliefs have changed over time and how that has impacted others.
I think it's harder for them to ask about it than it is for me to talk about. I'm not actually sure they really want to know, and I respect that. Perhaps it is easier to hit cancel have the story you have told yourself about something so that it will make sense to you or hit open and let your mind give you all the reasons it doesn'tfit with the way you look at things rather than try to comprehend something entirely outside the realm of your personal experience. I am not attached to being believed or validated and the only respect that matters to me is my own. The only one who can truly disappoint me is myself.
I remember when someone tried to teach me to play chess. I didn't really have any internal desire to learn, but I knew how much others liked it and thought it would be 'a good skill to acquire'. But as soon as they started telling me the rules I couldn't keep my brain on. I don't know why but some part of me shut down. Maybe that's what happens for them. When I am asked, I soon find the subject changed. With chess, t all just seemed too hard, and besides, I was perfectly content with checkers. I didn't want to have to 'work' that hard at 'playing a game' I told myself. Games are supposed to be fun.
Perhaps that is what happens when poeple try to unerstand what "happened to me". After many wonderful, personal, spritual experiences in the church of my birth, I began to be lead by that same presence in ways that were slightly intimidating to me at first. Books appeared in my life. I met many amazing people who lived lives of integrity and joy. I had the good fortune to be invited to observe and experience worship within other churches and participate in spiritual practices of many different cultures. I had little fear of doing so, which I get the impression surprises some poeple who have been taught not to experiment outside their current faith under the guise that 'satan will get you if you go too far away'. Well, you might say, "It's a Test". In response I would ask, "would God be so under-handed that he would design a test that he ultimately wanted you to pass, but fill it with trick questions?" I believed, and still believe that if a place or a thing was not good or good for me, I wouldn't feel good being there or doing it, and that would let me know. I had been taught through scriptures, "By their fruits ye shall know them", and I saw good fruit. That same spirit was also telling me that these other things were also true, and sometimes more true. And as I did what I had been taught to do, which was to use faith, and plant the seed and see if it grew, and if it did then it was a 'good seed'. As time paseed I begin to have experiences that would show me that the basic tentants were based in ultimate truth, but the way that religion, in general, tried to get you to be a "good" and the way "good" was defined were merely a distraction to what spirituality was really about for me... being in communion with God, and feeling God's presence within me and being lead through my life so that I might have peace and share than peace and love with others. And I had been taught that if the Spirit was with you, you were on the right track. So why was everyone so upset and concerned?
Now here is where the mind games begin.....
Somewhere along the line I had been told, "Satan will tell you 9 truths to get you to believe 1 lie." I honestly don't know where I heard that, but it was an almost constant voice in my head and some days I felt literally like I was going crazy. I feared I was being lead 'astray' and I just didn't know it yet. In that respect it was an almost hourly choice; follow the Spirit or follow my fears. I chose Spirit, knowing that if that peace ever left me, I would know I was off course. Sort of my own, internal GPS :)
Depending on your beliefs, you may or may not like the questions this experience brought up for me.
How can one person, or a group of people, rationalize and explain what another person, or group of people is experiencing in their own heart, mind and body?
If someone finds God in a place or through a practice, how can it be called into question? Isn't it arrogant and presumptuous to assume that you, who are not in their heart mind and body, can independently judge that experience for them, and render it either valuable or invaluable, true or untrue?
I was given this analogy in meditation:
There are many flavors of ice cream, probably hundreds, and although some are more popular than others, each flavor would have it's own 'fan club', who would argue it was the "Best", or "only one worth eating". Some people wouldn't pick a favorite at all because to them, "ice cream doesn't taste good in the first place, and besides, it's bad for you". There are also hundreds of different types of music.
At one point I'm sure we've all found ourselves having a discussion over food or music in which someone exclaims how wonderul something is, only to be followed by everyone else's 2 cents, followed by the naming of favorites. Somewhere in the mix someone will usually comment, "Really? I don't like that at all!", seeming actually confused by the idea that it is possible to feel differntly than they do.
When it comes to food and music, the conversation usually ends there, and everyone goes their way all warm and fuzzy, because it is socially acceptable to have a different opinion/experience than someone. Other areas are not so innocent.
When it comes to politics we take it up a notch. The right and wrong of it enter in and the exchanges more spicy. But when it comes to God....the rules change.
We take it VERY personally and find ourselves arguing or feeling threatened or fearful; even worrying or praying for others to believe what we believe; believing that it is the only valid belief. Sometimes make it our quest in life to convince others that they either wrong or mislead in their reality and experience with God. I assume I'm stepping on hollowed ground with my family by comparing Mocha Almond Fudge and John Mayer to God, but really........isn't it just a matter of degrees? It' ok if someone doesn't eat your favorite ice cream, but if they don't worship God (and there is only one of them in Western religion) the way you do, then it's a problem.
When are we going to start picketing at Baskin Robbins or praying for people who eat waffle cones or passing out Mozart pamphlets at Rock concerts? Are we not all open minded enough to see that belief is based on subjective experience, and whether we like it or not, we cannot judge another's experiences. In the words of my favorite, hunky lyricist (is it incenstuous to fantasize about someone who could almost be your son?):
"Belief is a beautiful armour
that makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching under water,
you never quite hit what you're trying for"
"Some need the exhibition,
some have to know they tried,
It's the chemical weapon for the war
that's raging on inside."
We extend this pattern of society into parenting as well. All parents are guilty of telling their children, at times, that what the child sees and feels doesn't count. I've been guilty. We do it all the time; assume that the child should take on the preferences, beliefs and apirations of the parents. While our intentions are generally honorable, there can't help but be some element of unconscious, unquestioned beliefs and motivations. What if, in the interest of what is best for the relationship and the child, we were to examine ourselves and our parenting in this area?
We tell them when they should be hungry, what and how much they should eat, what should taste good and bad, whether they should like or wear certain clothing, when they should sleep and stay awake, all by some theoretical idea in our head, based on what exactly? For example, should they automatically be hungry when YOU are ready for them to sit down at the meal you may or may not have enjoyed making for them? But...because perhaps because you had to make yourself prepare it, they better make themselves sit down and eat it when you tell them, or deal with whatever you choose to dole out as a consequence, which for many parents, turns out to be incessant nagging and complaining in the child's general direction. And to what end? Often what we expect of our children, both in belief and behavior is based more on what is comfortable or convenient for us, rather than, in actuality, right or wrong, good or bad. We assign those labels, but if we really look at it....
Is there possibly another way? Could it be that they really ARE hungry even though it's not dinner time, or that they aren't tired even though the clock says it's bed time or you're just good and ready to get them out of your hair?
The children being born at this time are different. They won't so easily have their spirits broken, or bend to our wills. They came with another picture in their minds. Many of them know who they are, and they think you're the crazy one when you try to tell them something that if you stopped for a minute to think about, makes little, if any, sense to them. Perhaps they do see a better way. They have a new vision, and we would do well to listen. What if we acknowledged that just because something has always been done a certain way, and perhaps you were even begrudgingly forced to do it that way, and maybe it even worked that way at at that time, can we not admit that many of the ways things are being done aren't working any more. Or is it just easier to medicate and punish them. Let's face it, they are a round peg, and they may not ever it in your round whole.
One of my favorite stories is of an African tribe that has a tradition that when a woman finds she is pregnant, there is a point in the pregnancy where she goes alone, out into the bush, and listens. She listens to hear the "song of the soul of that child". And when she hears it she begins to sing, and when the rest of the women in the village hear her, they come out and they join her, and they too began singing the song. Then they all return to the village and soon everyone knows the song. So when that child is born into this world, the first thing they hear is that song. They are rocked to sleep with that song, that belongs only to them, and with it they get the message that they are unique, and that they are recongized and valued for just who they are. Then when each milestone of life comes, they are sung it again. It is done in celebration of success. It is sung to console them in times of suffering, and it is sung as they die and cross over. I would ask; have you stopped and listened for your child's song, or do you treat them as one of the crowd, a smaller version of you, too busy to stop and listen and sing to them the reminder of what God knows is true about them? Or do you make the truth of who they are annoying or unacceptable?
None of us get it automatically all figured out just because we become a parent, yet it seems there is this unspoken belief that because our bodies are larger and they came out of our bodies, that gives us a right to tell them what they think and feel. And that they should automatically, out of respect or telepathy, become and do what we decided was best for them. In the meantime, in the background, we have to admit that we are not respecting or expecting half as much from ourselves as we are from them. And to some degree or another, we are just as confused as ever about how to manage certain areas of our own lives. Perhaps we become so invested in them making us look good precisely because, in truth we feel so bad inside about ourselves. Maybe it's not them that disappoint us. Maybe we disappoint ourselves, but it's easier to blame someone else than look in the mirror. It's always easier to demand more from others than we do from ourselves. As Jesus said, "Remove the mote from your own eye before trying to see the beam in your brother's.".....did I get that backwards?
Perhaps if we got out of their business in areas of opinion and belief and get back into our own, and began trusting ourselves from a place deep within, it would allow us to give them the same privilege.
Perhaps we would all do well to consider our own beliefs. Which ones are truly yours personally, based on your experiences? Which ones have just been blindly adopted by osmosis, but aren't working for you any more? How are those affecting your joy and satisfaction? Have you perhaps been eating only Vanilla in a plastic bowl because somewhere along the line someone told you that it was the only flavor, or at least the only one worth trying.....or better yet "people who eat ice cream in cones don't know what they are missing using a bowl and a spoon".
Life is full of choices, and more than 31. And they are all good in their own way.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Patience...developing "Negative Capability"
Thank you, Anakha, for introducing the concept of "Negative Capability" to me at this pivotal time. It perfectly explains the lessons and inner evolution of the last 2 years, and probably one more year in this lifetime of mine, but in reality, every day of all of our lives. Our ego spends so much time and effort prudently plotting what it decides is a safe and sane state of security than never really exists in the first place. Thankfully, I have experienced incredible internal shifts, but then again, it was either shift or go to the loony bin.
John Keats introduced the concept in 1871, describing it as "when man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries and doubts without any irritable reaching after fact or reason." He believed that "great people have the ability to accept that not everything can be resolved" and that "the truths found in imagination access holy authority". He believed that authority could not otherwise be understood and writes, "This place of uncertainty is a place between the mundane, ready reality and the multiple potentials of a more fully understood existence. It is a state of intentional openmindedness".
Most religious or spiritual systems speak of this. Certainly, Buddhism hinges fundementally on it in the teaching that "all suffering comes from attachment", as surely where else does attachment really exist, except within the mind. And the Christian Bible says in Proverbs, "Trust the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on thine own understanding". We love the concept that we have things all figured out and neatly planned and have covered our bases, but in the end, events completely outside our control can change EVERYTHING in an instant.
And so I sit today in gratitude for a roof over my head, a soft pillow on which to rest at night, and the love I give and receive each day....which is all there really is anyway.
And so it is! Amen! Aho! Namaste
John Keats introduced the concept in 1871, describing it as "when man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries and doubts without any irritable reaching after fact or reason." He believed that "great people have the ability to accept that not everything can be resolved" and that "the truths found in imagination access holy authority". He believed that authority could not otherwise be understood and writes, "This place of uncertainty is a place between the mundane, ready reality and the multiple potentials of a more fully understood existence. It is a state of intentional openmindedness".
Most religious or spiritual systems speak of this. Certainly, Buddhism hinges fundementally on it in the teaching that "all suffering comes from attachment", as surely where else does attachment really exist, except within the mind. And the Christian Bible says in Proverbs, "Trust the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on thine own understanding". We love the concept that we have things all figured out and neatly planned and have covered our bases, but in the end, events completely outside our control can change EVERYTHING in an instant.
And so I sit today in gratitude for a roof over my head, a soft pillow on which to rest at night, and the love I give and receive each day....which is all there really is anyway.
And so it is! Amen! Aho! Namaste
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