Speechless........

is a word I seldom feel, perhaps to the dismay of others, but that is what I find myself.

What has transpired since posting 2 weeks ago is still sifting it's way through me. It's not a bad thing, really, as long as I can accept that in certain moments, in human terms, it feels that way because I am, after all, human.

While my intention was to pose an idea for consideration and give a personal example of it's relevance to my life, and share a small portion of a very personal walk, which in turn might present others with an opportunity to practice the concept, this one post has become 'the gift that keeps on giving', presenting me with several teachings that I have yet to truly understand.

The fall-out is still happening, it appears. Apparently, I have pushed some proverbial buttons....


And so, I get another chance to practice staying in the present moment, allowing the perfection and the love to emerge from within and around me. My heart and mind, on the other hand, are in a sort of wrestling match, which I refuse to actively participate in, other than for a few moments at a time until my spirit softly raises her index finger to her pursed lips and whispers, "Not useful". My heart is actually poised shyly in the corner, almost begging to leave the room, and only strikes back at my mind in self-defense. So truly, it is my mind that is the aggressor. He's got his boxing gloves on, ready to defend us all, trying to talk my heart into leaving and take this whole thing outside (of myself) and team up against what it thinks is a bigger opponent. I fundamentally disagree with both of their strategies.

Funny thing is....neither is going to win, alone or together. But that is only because my soul stands patiently at the door, softly raising her hand when either of them try to leave the room; ever reminding both of them of the truth....there is no enemy, except the one they imagine. It's all a grand illusion they've self-created to give them something to do while I sit back and be still and wait and stay present with all 'of us' so the teaching I am being presented with can come out from behind the curtain. The truth is in the room, it just hasn't made itself known. The heart and mind think it's outside and want to go slay the 'dragon' so they can feel safe again, perhaps even claim a victory, at least that is what they think. But my soul knows better. There is no enemy. Nothing to defend. Nothing to fix.


You may have heard the story of the old woman who lost her precious ring, with so much sentimental value, and so she calls up all her friends and family to help her search outside, as she has been doing. They scour the yard, digging up both the front and back, plants and all. When it doesn't turn up they search the neighborhood, as they look suspiciously at the neighbors, wondering if perhaps it's been found, but not returned. After exhausting themselves, someone asks her where she had it last, to which she replies, "Oh, I took it off in the kitchen last night before doing the dishes". Surprised and confused her friend asks her, "Then why are we looking outside?" Her reply......"Because it's dark in there and hard to see and there is so much more daylight out here."

So, rather than leave the confines of my own heart and mind, looking for the truth where it never was in the first place. Rather than looking to pin the experience and emotions on what my mind and heart try to tell me are the supposed perpetrators, I will sit and wait until I feel like finding my flashlight and then look where I saw it last, for what sometimes feels lost, but never really was. It's still here...inside. And I'll find it soon enough. Maybe dusty, maybe tarnished, maybe bent, or missing a stone. Nevertheless, still present.

Sometimes, when something transpires that is either emotional or confusing my body feels like an old-fashioned hourglass, and I just have to sit, and wait for all the sand to get to the bottom, and then, there I am.....at the bottom line, the teaching, the wisdom.