The Juicy Life

I haven't blogged for so long that I had to stop and think to remember the address...that's crazy.

THis past 3 or 4 months have been intense to say the least. So much loss, so much darkness, so much healing, and now, finally, so much light. In the midst of it all I don't think I had the energy to even put anything other than a status on FB. No writing muse present in this life.

In the aftermath of going deeper into the Abyss than I have ever been, I lost all perspective and there was, for the first time in this life, in this body, no light to be seen at the end of the tunnel. I wasn't ready to leave this body, but I didn't want to go on, could find no reason to keep going. Breathing was an effort.

Thanks to patient, loving friends, and the passage of time, the use of Shamanism and Naturopathic Medicine, I feel alive and more present than ever. The part of me that felt done and washed up, worn out and weary has re-awakened and reappeared more alive and present than before.

Life just feels juicy right now. Blessings are showing up; some in very unconventional, but still perfect ways. I am enjoying each moment and am (sorry to my pessimistic friends) back to the half-full way of seeing things. I am more in my body, more in my heart and it feels great. Laura is probably getting tired of my longer, tighter hugs, but she will just have to adjust.

I want it all. And....I am willing to enjoy my life whether all the pieces look like they are in place yet or not.

My body feels good since re-entering a mostly raw food diet. I'm slowly losing the weight I gained since the townhouse slid. I now see I needed all this time to process it all and I am thankful I was kind and patient with myself and indulged the part of me that thought sugar and fat were the answers. I, like probably most of us, am a slow, stubborn learner. Once I stopped putting the junk in I started feeling so alive I couldn't sleep well. I felt restless. My first and second chakras were spinning so fast it almost carried me away.

I am able to love, all of humanity, more deeply than before. I love this quote:

"Being love means that you are responsible for gathering all the parts of your fractured self, the parts you have abandoned or become ashamed of, and carrying them tenderly to the alter of your heart for repair." Maureen Moss